Four Lives of a Beast

© Gautaman Asirwatham

Found in a field
A new figure wanders the world
The land is bare of life
The ground is dry, cracked

Searching, they eventually find a pond
They peer in, expecting to see their likeness
Immediately they shatter
4 wolves are left over, each a different size

The alpha, more maw than creature
Another, charming and beautiful, though lesser
Third, smaller still, dim and pathetic
Finally, the littlest, fuzzy and bright-eyed

The four recoil, then meet eyes
They spend a moment
perceiving each other
The alpha asks, “Who are you?”
------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
The littlest answers first
“I do not know who I am
But what lights me up?
I love to eat”

Alpha, “You disappoint me”
The littlest’s eyes grow brighter
Bored of the others he leaves
East towards the prairie
------------------------------------------------
The dimmest answers next
“I do not know who I am
But what drains me?
I hate being alone”

Alpha, “You disappoint me”
The dimmest’s slouch droops lower
Seeking companions, he leaves
South towards the capital city
------------------------------------------------
The prettiest answers third
“I do not know who I am
But what is most important to me?
I live for glory”

Alpha, “You disappoint me”
The prettiest’s head raises higher
Longing for larger audiences, he leaves
West toward the Golden Road
------------------------------------------------

The alpha stomps, cracking the ground
A harsh wind billows out from beneath
A piercing howl cuts through the land
“Your answers are inadequate”

“We are not the same
Yet you are not strange
Find yourself in the world
Let not your nature be deceived”

“We are beasts, destroyers
Our wrath is boundless
Our pleasure is in pain
Our destiny is to ruin the world”
------------------------------------------------
“My destination cannot be yours
Though you are like me, you cannot yet compare
To the North lies the great mountains
Beyond which contains the Land of Beasts”

“A cruel and dangerous place
A perfect place to make my home
By violence and bloodshed
I will become the King of Beasts”

“In time I will collect you
Grow yourselves, do not be complacent
You will be my generals
When it is time to conquer this world”
------------------------------------------------
The littlest wolf skips joyfully
Hopping across the prairie
They stomp on flowers
And chomp on butterflies

Eventually they find a farm
The little wolf is hungry
The sheep are fenced in
Without thought, he lunges

Jaw now locked, he is unshaken
A delight fills the beast
He remembers the worlds of the alpha
He revels in the moment

A sound, a crossbow
Frustration settles in pleasure’s wake
Settling for a consolation prize,
The beast takes only the head
------------------------------------------------
The farmer sees the headless sheep
A carcass not left by another animal
But a monster
Too small to secure the entire kill

The farmer’s son will process the rest
From the wool he makes a cloak
From the organs he makes a sack
From the ribs he fashions stakes

The beast has food tonight
But it will be hungry in the morning
At dawn the farmer sits among the sheep
Ready to catch his target
------------------------------------------------
The beast approaches the farm again
The sight fills him with desire
He makes sure no one is around
Seeing only sheep, he drools with anticipation

Again he catches a neck
Again he is filled with pleasure
He sees a man rush towards him
He dodges but, too slow, is bagged quickly

The little beast tries to bite through the bag
The man forces his maw shut
Straddling him, the little one’s efforts become useless
Hopeless, he resolves to endure what follows
------------------------------------------------
The man speaks
“You are a monster
What animal hunts in such a gruesome way
You must be stopped for your acts”

The man drives bone stakes through the small limbs
Too spent to finish the monster
He leaves him in the bag for a week
Depriving him of light and shelter, left to starve

The man eventually returns
He says, “Your desires will lead you to ruin
You are my property now
You will protect my sheep from similar dangers”
------------------------------------------------
The monster, helpless, can only agree
He watches the sheep
They are so free
What makes them more deserving than he?

Indeed it is his desires
He resolves to outgrow them
Instead he will live well on this farm
He returns from his thoughts to watch the sheep

After a long day, he is salivating again
Desiring not food, but to cause pain
Remembering his conviction he looks at his arm
And chomps, a nice release
------------------------------------------------
The most pathetic wolf drags his feet
Entering the city
Watching the morning city-goers
Listening to the hustle and bustle

Eventually, they find a castle
The sad beast is lonely
A young page is attending to the horses
Without thought, he lunges

Applying his weight, he is in control
A pleasure fills the beast
He remembers the words of the alpha
He revels in the moment

A sound, a scream
Frustration settles in pleasure’s wake
Settling for a consolation prize,
The beast takes only the head
------------------------------------------------
The princess sees a headless boy
A corpse not left by an assassin
But a sadistic demon
Too impatient to take the boy at night

The princess’s guard will attend to the body
They take the page’s clothes
They take the page’s cross
They take the horse's mantle

The beast is satisfied tonight
But he will be aroused in the morning
At dawn, the princess is disguised as a page
The royal guards ready themselves for battle
------------------------------------------------
The beast again approaches the castle
He follows a page into the bathhouse
Hiding in the steam, he twitches in excitement
He sees a small, shadowed figure

Again he tackles the figure
But there is no pleasure
Instead of flesh he meets armor
The royal guardsman stabs through his chest

The beast tries to strangle the guard in his armor
More guardsmen help by attaching the horse's mantle
Pulling the reins, struggle becomes useless
The sad beast resolves to endure what follows
------------------------------------------------
The small figure, the princess, speaks
“You are a demon
No assassin kills in such an evil way
You must repent for your sins”

The Princess holds the cross high
And says a prayer, performing an exorcism
“Chain him and take him to the gallows”
He spends a month there, lonely

The princess eventually returns
She says, “Your desires will lead you to ruin
You are mine now
You will be my servant and entertain my guests”
------------------------------------------------
The demon, chained, can only agree
He watches royal parties and dinners
They are so happy
What makes them more deserving than he?

Indeed it is his desires
He resolves to cleanse them
Instead he will live redeemed in this castle
He returns from his thoughts to watch the royals
After a long day, he is twitching again
Not lonely, but needing to cause pain
Remembering his conviction he hides in a corner
And strangles himself, a comforting feeling
------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
The prettiest wolf struts proudly
The road takes them to the Colosseum of Champions
They admire the contestants
And listen to the cheering crowds

Eventually they enter the arena
The proud wolf wants glory
The referee starts the match
With overwhelming speed and power, they lunge

His claws pierce the fighter, he is unstoppable
Glee fills the beast
He remembers the words of the alpha
He revels in the moment

The bell rings, stopping the fight
Frustration settles in pleasure’s wake
Settling for a consolation prize,
The beast takes his head
------------------------------------------------
The king sees the headless athlete
Remains not left by a champion
But a ferocious savage
Too wild to contain his brutality

The king’s assistant will handle the rest
He hires goons
He plants them in the first row seats
He sends for the royal mage

The beast has glory tonight
But it will be hungry in the morning
At dawn, the king sits among the spectators
Ready to catch his target
------------------------------------------------
The beast again approaches the colosseum
An unknown fighter proudly stalks the arena
At his feet stands a mountain of slain fighters
The crowd is larger and louder than before

Again he enters the ring, eyes darting in anticipation
He pounces on the opponent
But it is merely an illusion
He flies through, into a cloak held by the king’s goons

Enchanted, the cloak binds him
The goons throw him in a caravan
They chain him, making struggle useless
Hopeless, the proud beast resolves to endure what follows
------------------------------------------------
He is taken before the king,
“You are a savage
No champion fights in such a cruel way
You must be civilized from your methods”

The king whips him ruthlessly
He is then left in the dungeon for 6 months
He grows bored and uninspired
Eventually, the king returns

He says, “Your desires will lead you to ruin
You are my trophy now
You will be my hunting companion,
The greatest glory obtainable by a beast”
------------------------------------------------
The savage, excited, can only agree
On the hunt, he watches the warriors
They are so awesome
What makes them more deserving than he?

Indeed, it is his desires
He resolves to overcome them
Instead he will live cultured, by the king’s side
He returns from his thoughts to watch the hunt

After a long day, his eyes dart again
Yearning not for glory, only pain
Remembering his conviction he looks at his body
And gashes with his claws, refocusing himself
------------------------------------------------
The farm sees many more sons
The city sees many more princesses
The kingdom sees many more kings
A century passes

Then, massive storms wreck the land
Harsh winds bite and gash
Torrential rains smother and suffocate
Yet, only a sign for danger to come

A horde from the Land of Beasts
Has come to collect the three
They shall raze all in their path
As is the will of the Beast King
------------------------------------------------
The prairie is set ablaze
The city is pillaged
The kingdom is massacred
None can stand up to the horde’s might

The horde is too vast
Too overwhelming to resist
The three are reclaimed and
delivered back to the beast lands

They are searched for weapons
And stripped of possessions
Taken before the Beast King
They are helpless
------------------------------------------------
The Beast King sits on his throne
They remember the alpha
And his proclamation from long ago
The littlest asks, “Who are you?”
------------------------------------------------
“We were one, many years ago
Now I am the Beast King
Who have you become?
If you are fit, you will be my generals”

“I am worthy
I am the royal steed
Skilled in hunting and performance
Fit for any king”

“I am worthy
I am the princess’ servant
Useful for service and entertainment
Fit for any king”

“I am worthy
I am the farmer’s guard
Competent in surveillance and protection
Fit for any king”
------------------------------------------------
Beast King, “You misunderstand
Me, you, we
Are none of those things
We are beasts”

“Someone has deceived your nature
Your potential is wasted”
The Beast King rages
Clawing, crushing, and biting his surroundings

“I now understand you three
Indeed my lesser parts
You are not fit to stand beside me
Better to be devoured”

The beasts have nothing more to say
They charge each other
Desire, Pleasure, Pain
All four are devoured
------------------------------------------------
A new figure is born in the world
They command the force to ruin the world
But what does he desire?
Who is he?
-----------------------------------------

Return.